Wednesday, September 21, 2016

It’s been a weird couple of days. Simultaneously hectic and calm. I have so many projects that I am attempting to work on simultaneously, which honestly let’s face it is no surprise given my tendency to push myself to the limits and then some. I feel like I’m starting to only give 90% to each project instead of giving 100% to each project. I don’t like to halfass things, but when facing new challenges within a given project it’s really difficult to feel as though I’m giving it my all because I am such a perfectionist and I want everything to come out exactly the way I want it the first time. Someone recently observed that I am a perfectionist which isn’t a surprise. The surprising part was how quickly he followed up the statement with it’s because I’m afraid of failure. And this person has had several interactions with me as we are working simultaneously on similar projects but not necessarily together on the same project, so our paths have crossed quite a bit in the last few weeks. Usually I don’t have someone whose last name I don’t even know peg me for exactly what I am and tell me to my face: so this is what you are and this is why you are the way you are. To be honest, it was kind of refreshing. I have always had a problem with perfectionism; I am extremely hard on myself. I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses, and I’m a big believer in enhancing your strengths, learning new things if that’s what you are interested in, and finding someone else who is strong where you are weak. I do not believe in spending hours, days, even weeks attempting to improve your weaknesses if you’re just not good at something. We can’t be good at everything, and even if we are good at so many things it doesn’t necessarily mean we must do all of those things. To give a more concrete example, perhaps you are a straight A student (or were a straight A student), but you probably had a favorite subject or you had a favorite hobby or something that ignited your passion. The thing I love about being surrounded by artists is that they don’t care about what they should or should not be doing with their lives because they’re doing exactly what they want to be doing when they want to do it. They don’t punch a clock, they don’t trade their time for money, they just create exactly what they want to create.